am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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