there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
