If that was your dad, he is hot
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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