How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
