Plan B is the new Plan A
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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