Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
