so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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