he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize