Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
