dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
