How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
