What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
