Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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