I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
