You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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