so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize