If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
