well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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