i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
