Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
