I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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