If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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