You really coming over, don't trick.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
