YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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