If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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