I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
