direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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