i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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