I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
