I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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