I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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