any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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