sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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