member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
