you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
