No I am not eating basil off your cock
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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