Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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