Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
