Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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