Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
