Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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