i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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