dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
