in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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