guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
