The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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