He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
