The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
