come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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