my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
