what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
