Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
