How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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