I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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