one might say we're banned from that church
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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