You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
