I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
