I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
