Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
