I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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